Golf has often been called a gentleman’s game. What with the collared shirts, the personal servants (caddies) and the general “let’s keep everything quiet and civilized” air about the sport, it’s just hard to imagine anything associated with it getting overly rowdy. Yet, amid the polite clapping and honor-system scoring, there is one thing that seems a little out of place; one potentially rambunctious piece of equipment that can very quickly plunge the proud, civilized game into a state of frenzied anarchy. I am, of course, referring to the golf cart. Here are nine of the most disorderly golf antics ever captured on video.
1. On Thin Ice
Okay, the first forty seconds of this video is just a sped-up shot from behind a couple of yahoos as they drive to their destination while some obnoxious rave music thumps annoyingly. The next fifty seconds it a camera view from the inside of the golf cart looking back at the driver, as though we came to see his reaction and not the cart itself. However, once you hit the 1:38 second mark, it all switches to a nice wide angle shot, and you’re treated to the true majesty of a somewhat top-heavy mini-automobile drifting wildly across the brittle frozen surface of ice-cold water. One thing it lacks is human drama. Maybe the director could have replaced the “be goofy on ice-skates” section with a scene of the ice breaking apart and swallowing the cart whole. Then at least it would have also worked as a cautionary tale.
2. A Different Type of Sand Wedge
It turns out that golf carts don’t even have to be running to cause mayhem. For example, if this kid had just chosen to leap over a pile of bricks, then all we would have had was an uninteresting clip of a dude without a shirt trying to impress his friends. However, the golf cart knew that it could offer us so much more. Instead of just having the kid miss the jump and get a faceful of shame, it decided to show us exactly what it looks like when a person is traveling at about 10 mph and their pelvis suddenly comes to a screeching halt. Bonus points should also go towards the jumper for the epic-level wedgie. He must have been coughing up track shorts for the next week or so.
3. Walking the Plank
“Planking” is the most idiotic and annoying of all the memes to come out of the internet, and that’s a group that includes “Troll Face” and “U Mad Bro?” So when someone attempts to lay motionless on top of a moving golf cart just to perpetuate a lame joke, but instead gets a lesson in physics followed by extra credit in getting-your-head-run-over, I call it karma. Good thing that golfer was there to give the kids a stern lecture afterwards.
Much like the real NASCAR, this clip is only fun to watch once someone crashes. But I’ve got to say, I am impressed with the way the driver lands on his feet while the cart shatters around him. I’m less impressed with the way he tried to shave time off his lap by cutting across the shrubs. Bad form!
5. Make Like a Tree
Now, all of these videos so far have featured people doing silly things on purpose, so let’s switch it up a bit. This clip is a very simple one. There’s no slow-motion replay, no dubbed in music, just one person’s inability to drive a golf cart and one tree’s amazing ability to warp space-time so that the cart is pulled directly into it. Classic. Also, note the dignified-yet-terrified way that the bystanders politely hop out the path of the rogue vehicle. After all, one does not scream during golf.
6. A Hero’s Journey
Ok. some people who didn’t deserve it actually got hurt in this clip, and that makes it less funny. However, there are three things in this clip that I think are worth noticing and enjoying:
1) The guy who ends up riding shotgun on the runaway cart as it emerges from the tangled crowd that it has just run over. He’s so confused at what has happened, he seems to actually consider staying where he is and seeing this unexpected adventure through to the end.
2) That same guy eventually deciding that he’d better save himself while there’s still time. After a few seconds of deliberation, he daringly leaps from the cart and rolls, in what to him must have seemed like a Bruce-Willis-worthy escape from a moving vehicle, but to those watching at home just looked like a stuffed animal slipping out of a stroller.
3) The hero who realizes that the guy who had been riding shotgun is totally unqualified to save the day, and thus decides to jog forward and gallantly step into the driver’s seat and hit the brakes. As for all the people who get mangled at the beginning, well that’s a tragedy.
7. Fall From Grace
Calling this a “backflip fail” is really only partially accurate. For one thing, it didn’t look as though the backflip was at all intentional. Can you really fail when you don’t try? For another thing, that cart does a decent job at flipping over backwards, and even if it didn’t end up back on its wheels, I think it deserves some credit. I’m also a fan of the sheepish way that the driver’s head peeks up out of the wreckage; his face tells a story that we’ve all experienced, and that’s what make it wonderful.
Look, let’s get something straight. I’m not a big fan of property destruction. I don’t know what kind of compensation the Jackass crew offered the mini-golf course after completely destroying it, or if they got permission ahead of time, but my gut tells me that the chances are slim, and that makes me kind of sad. However, I am a huge fan of idiots doing reckless things and hurting themselves. For example, check out what happens starting at about the the 1:15 second mark. I’m not even sure whose body it is that is launched over the cart like an action figure from a slingshot, but I agree that it is, in fact, the best thing I’ve ever seen. The final crash in the video is more cringe worthy. Oh, and be warned, the video contains offensive language, so if you condone dangerous tomfoolery but not profanity, then hit the mute button before you begin.
9. Low Speed Pursuit
This clip is golden. I’m serious, take the time and watch the entire thing. It begins with an alleged car thief running from the police, and trying to escape into an enclosed golf course. He runs aimlessly for about a minute, and then happens upon a golf cart. And, in a flash of criminal brilliance, he hijacks the cart and and attempts to make his getaway. What follows is a treasure trove of comedic potential, from the confused way the perpetrator frantically follows the meandering cart paths in lazy circles, to the lame puns the commentators fall back on as they watch it all in disbelief. However, my favorite part would have to be at about the 3:00 mark, when we notice that some of the course employees have had it up to here with this guy’s nonsense, and have decided to give chase. That’s right folks, you have the rare privilege of witnessing a high-speed golf cart chase from the point of view of a circling news chopper. Because if you want to escape the law, your best bet is to do so in an unwieldy electric cart that can almost travel as fast as a person on foot, but has to stick to predetermined paths to do it.