For a sport that doesn’t even force its players to walk or carry their own equipment, some aspects of golf can be severely annoying. Here are 15 of the most irritating experiences that every golfer loves to hate.
1. People who don’t replace divots.
In addition to killing the tranquil uniformity of the fairway and just all around bringing the class factor down a notch, a divot filled course can be a tripping hazard. Hey, don’t judge — golfers don’t generally wear knee pads, after all.
2. Getting unsolicited advice.
Look, we know all about loosening our grip and keeping our head steady, alright? Now go away and let us be terrible in peace.
3. People who do the “Spider-Man” before they putt.
Um, looking real good there, pal.
4. Unraked bunkers.
Don’t kid yourself — sand traps are included in course designs for one purpose: to piss golfers off. So why make it any harder on them? A smooth bunker is slightly less likely to drive a golfer to raving madness as he takes stroke after stroke.
5. Golfers who won’t leave a ball behind.
It’s gone, man. Let it go. You have a whole case of balls with you for just such an occasion.
6. Slow play.
It’s a little embarrassing to get upset about other golfers being too slow. After all, if you wanted to play something fast-paced, you should have taken up basketball. But still, waiting half an hour between strokes can get a little old.
7. People who talk on cell phones.
Look, with green fees what they are, we already assume that you’re a rich and important person just from the fact that you could afford to play. You don’t need to further impress us by taking business calls while everyone else is trying to concentrate.
8. Angry golfers.
You’re playing the outside sport version of solitaire. Does this really necessitate a tantrum?
9. Big talkers.
If you're good, you won’t have to tell people about it. If you suck, then you should probably keep your mouth shut anyway.
10. Bad cart etiquette.
There are certain unspoken rules regarding cart use. Of course, since they’re unspoken, you might have trouble knowing what they are. Hopefully the disapproving glares of your fellow golfers will help keep you in line.
11. Golf ball artillery.
Golf is the only game to use balls that are as hard as concrete and small enough to put out an eye. Thus, it only makes sense that we should lob them haphazardly into the stratosphere while other unprotected players (or spectators) meander about below.
Personally, I’ll take this over the golfers who are constantly upset, but lets just be totally clear. You hit a ball into a hole. Congratulations. Now, move along.
13. People who use the wrong clubs.
Knowing which club to choose is like, half the game. Seriously, do your homework.
14. Golfers who don’t wait their turn.
I’m not going to make it through the course any faster with you breathing down my neck. If you need to play through, just ask.
15. Golf clubs left on the last hole.
What’s the matter with you? Didn’t your mom ever teach you to pick up your toys?